beautyI have a confession to make. Perhaps you’ll relate. I have a good habit of stressing with the rush of life that I forget to stop and look. I learned back over the summer, we discussed it in Bible Study, and talked about it in chapel. God sends us both kisses of love and people who need love into our lives everyday and we can’t even see it. Not because we have been blinded by them but because we blind ourselves. My busy life keeps me away from a deeper intimacy with Christ and a better knowledge of my surroundings.

God’s kisses are in every refreshing breeze, crisp fall air, singing bird, and smiling face. On my campus…he’s in every ringing of the church bell, every piece of music flowing from the music building, every laughing dinner table, and more! In school, there is such a rush to get through all the work needed to be done, all the people to see, and all the clubs/practices to get to. I pray that God teaches me to dance through my days! I hope that I learn to always honor him in what I do and to slow down so I don’t miss His kisses! Who would want to miss a kiss from our Heavenly Daddy??? I don’t want to miss anymore!

May God also work through my life to take notice and to love on those who are struggling! May God teach me even more to share to kisses I’ve received. Keep an eye out for those kisses, don’t miss a single one! And remember…kisses are not to keep but to share. ūüôā


*Sidenote: kisses=love. This does not mean you’re supposed to kiss lots of people. That’s gross. haha.



I am SO glad that it’s Friday! Weekends at college lift my spirits because the never ending work get to pause for at least one night. It’s a wonderful thing! Calvin and I started actually practicing the Sabbath so I look forward to a Sunday of true rest. Last time we did it, it was seriously one of the best days here and not because we did anything. Because in reality…we didn’t do much but now I have the slightest idea why God asks us to rest.

I’ve felt God stirring in my heart and I’m excited for the tomorrow’s coming because God has been molding and causing me to think about¬†A LOT. There are things I don’t wish to share now because I know it’s not time.¬†My deepest passions that he has placed in my heart from the very beginning are starting to surface. Isn’t it interesting how God can place something in our hearts but we never really realize they’re there¬†until He knows it’s time to start exerting those passions?? He is just SO cool! ūüôā

WELL the gals just came back and are calling¬†my name for movie night.¬†Until next time….

Yesterday + Today = WHOA

Sometimes…I think I do too much thinking. Example: Yesterday¬† through today. I’ve¬†been thinking about life in general and where I’m headed. It’s almost like God’s plan is on the tip of my tongue but as of right now I wouldn’t be able to tell you what He’s got planned.

¬†There’s a lot of possibilities to think about and I’m not set on one thing. I cannot tell you where my heart is because I just don’t know. I’m in such a place right now that I’m completely trusting God to show me where my own heart is! And to be honest, I love it. I love gaining this trust and growing to completely rely on¬†Him¬†for everything my future entails.

Calvin and I have been seeking God together and trusting Him with all that we have and all that we don’t yet have. So far, He’s taking us down the same path which has been completely unplanned on our part. Calvin confessed to me the other night that he doesn’t think I’m in the right major. He gave very valid reasons that confirmed why I wasn’t satisfied with where I was. (in communications) He urged me to look again into a contemporary ministry major. I didn’t want to hear it at first because I knew that the major would not confirm a job after college, but I was again reminded by my best friend that I didn’t have to be concerned about finding a job after college at the moment. All I need(ed) to do is trust God right now and He will provide later. Calvin’s saying of the year, “Sometimes what seems impractical to us, is extremely practical in God’s eyes!”

SO I looked again at the courses and discovered it to be basically Calvin’s major along with something extra I could love and call my own. The major consisted of a chosen ministry concentration and my choice was obvious: Youth and Family.

The description of the major and what I would study and prepare to do has been on my mind lately. It fits with my passion, I just need to decide whether this is a God thing. I need to pray, plan, and prepare! I wouldn’t say I’m completely shocked if this is the field God called me to…in fact, I think the major is just a sliver of what God is calling me to. But don’t ask me what the rest of the calling is. It seems God¬†is choosing to continue my¬†blind walk so¬†that He makes certain I’m following and trusting my Savior 100%!



Focusing on Today

A new semester is here! I’m two weeks in and I finally feel like I’ve gotten a hang of my new type of workload. My major has offically been switched to Communications with a concentration in ministry so this semester, instead of a bunch of music classes, I’m taking general education courses and I love it!

The other day my future roommate (Fall ’09) and I were talking about the difficulties of not only looking but planning too far in advance. We’ve decided to hang in our room a sign that says, “Focus on the Now” (or something like that.) We’ve realized that God has our future in His hands and that each day we live for Christ creates more unfolding in his wonderful plan for our future.

In fact, with that being said the future is an interesting thing. Technically, today was a part of yesterday’s future. When I think of the future, I think of things way off in the distance. But, in reality every day in a part of your future “coming true”. God’s plan for our lives unfolds every day that we live!

So with all that being said, I’ve excited for the year 2009. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead. Until then, I will focus on the task has for me today. I will admit that there are times I’m frustrated when I can’t tell where God has me going but I’m grateful the moments God frustrates me because during those moments, I grow to trust His hand even more in my life.


¬†And finally, as a new semester resolution, I’m going to try to keep this blog up to date. I think it’s important to. And if I fail, well, better luck in the future?

Being Pouty

Not seeing God’s direction is sometimes frustrating. I can give Him complete trust, know it will all work out…but being completely blind and unaware seems almost unfair. ūüôā ha. It’s like I’m a little kid telling my Daddy it’s not fair. I can just imagine a young child with their arms crossed, a pouty lip, and with a stomp of¬†their foot on the ground.¬†He knows what and when and where…is it really important for me to see it too? Not really…though I can’t help wishing He’d at least confirm the bigger plans and their direction. That’d be pretty nice of Him. *sigh*

As of right now, I’m basically slowly beginning to move. After some pacing back and forth for the past few months, God’s begun to open doors. Since school started I’ve reached nothing but closed doors; some of those doors needed to be slammed in my face for me to get the picture.¬†I’m only beginning to get a glimpse of my open doors and He¬†has begun letting me walk through some doors. It’s a very slow process…and I almost feel like I’m not going to have time for it all.

I actually feel like I have no time at all. I have so many ideas of what I feel like God might want me to do for the next few years and I wonder how¬†He’ll get it all in. How will my schedule work out just so??? ahh, but I suppose this is where the major trust time hits. I’ve given Him my life, I’m following Him in NEW directions, and now all I need to do is trust that He’s going to get done exactly what He wants to get done in the next few years. (and then the¬†rest of my life)¬†mmmm. I feel better. ūüôā

I can do it! Yes???

Today I feel a bit stressed. Okay…a lot stressed. I have a lot to handle…I’m a busy person. Just right now, I’ve less than 10 minutes before I have to skip chapel and walk to Rite Aid to fill a perscription because I have literally no other time to do it. I made it into the musical “George M!” and got a lead role. That was a complete shock because my audition really wasn’t that great. I know I’ve said it before…but this time I really mean it. So I thought/still kind of think that it must be God and something He wants me to do. But I’m¬†missing the next few rehearsals because of other tasks that need to get done…and I can already feel the stress building. Has God challenged me? Or has He allowed me to add too much to see what I do? Will this be a lesson of time management that will work in the end? Or will it be a lesson in how not to manage time? hmmm…I am lost for the answer. And now, I have to go to Rite Aid.

New challenges in the dorm…

So as a small tid-bit before I FINALLY am able to go to bed, I thought I’d share my night with you all. I got back to my dorm after a long study hour in the library exhausted. It was 10 o’clock and I was ready for bed. Unfortunately, my roomie had guys and girls in our room. There was loud music coming from there and the lights were flashing. It also smelled heavily of boy. If you know me at all…none of this is a good mix for me; especially late at night. So I walked back over to the library to talk to Calvin (who was working) thinking I’d come back at 11 because that was curfew and quiet hour starting. So I did….but then ended up back at the library because the smell of cologne was soooo strong! I would never be able to sleep…I was very uncomfortable. So here I am…coming it at 11:45pm. In the next room I hear the start of a movie as I look around my room. They had invaded my space as well. My stool and desk chair had been moved, my music plunked down where I hadn’t put it, and my very special letter from Martha had a near miss with the garbage can…I’m surprised I even saw it lying in the crack between my garbage can and desk. This situation makes me very uncomfortable…and now I sit here, very tired…wishing for a place I can call home. Dorm life, is not home.